Star Trek: Klingons

Over the years I have been searching for family-friendly Star Trek jokes (by which I mean those you would feel comfortable in telling your four-year-old AND your grandmother). I have collected many from the internet, from books, and from the final frontier.

It seems the Klingons had a diabolical plan to trap the ENTERPRISE in silver paper.
Luckily, the plan was foiled.

Have you heard the new Klingon army motto?
Join the Klingon army. Visit exotic planets, meet interesting people, and kill them!

Tribbles are sweet...
...but they can be bitter if you overcook them.

A KLINGON and a ROMULAN fall off a tall building at the same time.
Which one hit the ground first?
- The Romulan. The Klingon had to stop and ask for directions.

Top 12 things likely to be overheard if you had a Klingon programmer

12. "Specifications are for the weak and timid!"
11. "This machine is a piece of GAGH! I need dual Pentium processors if I am to do battle with this code!"
10. "You cannot really appreciate Dilbert unless you've read it in the original Klingon."
9. "Indentation?! -- I will show you how to indent when I indent your skull!"
8. "What is this talk of 'release'? Klingons do not make software 'releases.' Our software 'escapes' leaving a bloody trail of designers and quality assurance people in its wake."
7. "Klingon function calls do not have 'parameters' -- they have 'arguments' -- and they ALWAYS WIN THEM."
6. "Debugging? Klingons do not debug. Our software does not coddle the weak."
5. "I have challenged the entire quality assurance team to a bat'leth contest. They will not concern us again."
4. "A TRUE Klingon Warrior does not comment his code!"
3. "By filing this PTR you have challenged the honor of my family. Prepare to die!"
2. "You question the worthiness of my code? I should kill you where you stand!"
1. "Our users will know fear and cower before our software. Ship it! Ship it and let them flee like the dogs they are!"